Government defends Lord Sauron trade visit

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Downing Street last night sought to counter criticism of the Prime Minister’s decision to host the Dark Lord at number 10, saying that good relations with Mount Doom were “crucial to post Brexit trade”.

Sauron’s home country of Mordor is considered something of a pariah state in Middle Earth, widely condemned in the past for its flagrant disregard for human, elf and dwarfish rights.

A government spokesman, Simon son of Williams briefed reporters on the meeting between the two leaders

He told them, “The prime minister and Sauron the Deceiver had a very productive meeting during which it was agreed that the UK would continue to supply the Land of Shadow with hordes of British Uruk-hai for use in their controversial war with the nearby peaceful kingdom of Gondor.

“In exchange, the Prime Minister was given a beautiful gold ring as a token of the genuine friendship between our nations.

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“The Prime minister also intended to raise the matter of Mordor’s repeated attempts to subjugate the free peoples of middle earth, and cover the land in a second darkness, but unfortunately they ran out of time.”