Brexiters are planning to send a commemorative Battle of Britain tea towel to France after learning the Bayeux Tapestry is set to be loaned to the UK.
Angry, red-faced Leave voters have decided that delivering the gift across the Channel would be the perfectly obnoxious thing to do after discovering the 11th century artefact was set to leave Gallic soil for the first time in 950 years.
“We didn’t vote to take back control to let these Frenchies start lecturing us about the Norman conquest,” said Brexiter Nathaniel Mason-Seymour.
“Our great nation has won battle after battle since William the Bastard got extremely lucky that one time in 1066.
“They can have this commemorative tea towel for starters, just to remind them of all of our great British victories across the globe, showing that Britain is definitely the best at everything.
“It’s one in the eye for France!”
The move was inspired by news that MEP Steven Woolfe somehow thought it would be hilarious to deliver a hamper of British goods to EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier last week.
“You might think we’ve peaked with this tea towel, but we’ve got plenty more where this came from,” added Mr Mason-Seymour.
“We could even send them some tea towels commemorating all sorts of British magnificent victories against their little European nation; there’s Waterloo, Trafalgar, and obviously Le Tournoi.
“It’s time that we showed the rest of Europe that living off past glories is pathetic and completely at odds with the views of the modern Brexit voter.”
I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!