After narrowly losing the Alabama Senate seat to Doug Jones amid a wave of controversy and sex allegations, Roy Moore has been told that a recount would be a waste of time as the girls involved would still be considered underage.
The Republican candidate’s campaign has been controversial due to his views on homosexuality coupled with allegations that he molested two teenage girls; a fact that naturally didn’t stop the President genital-grabber himself giving him his full endorsement.
“I just can’t understand it,” moaned Moore following the announcement that he had been beaten by one of those morally repugnant liberal-minded Democrats.
“All I did was say that homosexuality should be illegal, that I believe evolution is a lie, and then try to deny accusations that I’d messed around with a couple of underage girls. How could the good people of Alabama not want me to represent them in the Senate after that?
“That’s why I’m demanding a recount of all the votes cast. It must have been fixed. Not by Putin, obviously – he’s a great guy and wouldn’t consider doing such a thing. We’re talking about the bad type of election fixing here.
Political commentator Chuck Williams responded, “Firstly, a recount of the ages of the girls would still show they were underage at the time he was involved with them, end of story.
“And secondly, being endorsed by a man who has bragged about sexually assaulting women himself may go some way in explaining why you lost, so maybe you should consider getting over it?”