US President Donald Trump has been left furious after his choice of racist homophobic child molester lost the Alabama Senate race to Democrat Doug Jones.
Trump felt sure that adding his special brand of support to former Judge Roy Moore would secure the Senate seat for the Republicans, however, the endorsement of a self-confessed groper did little to improve the turnout for a child-molester.
Former Judge Roy Moore has a long history of racism and homophobia, but apparently, it was the paedophilia which finally convinced Alabama residents to vote for the other guy.
A White House spokesperson was quick to dismiss claims that the Republicans losing in Alabama for the first time in 25 years is an indication that President Trump’s influence is waning, insisting that the result had nothing to do with the President personally and his repeated vocal endorsements.
Shortly afterwards, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders told reporters, “Donald Trump never endorsed Roy Moore for the Alabama Senate seat. It never happened. And frankly, you so-called reporters should be ashamed of yourselves for telling your readers and viewers that he did – those of you repeatedly saying that he endorsed Roy Moore are perpetuating fake news.”
Political Analyst Chuck Williams told us, “This result is certainly rewriting the record books, and of course, the insult dictionary.
“It used to be that to describe someone’s incompetence you’d say they ‘couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery’, but now we’ve moved on. These days we say that Trump is so incompetent he couldn’t get a Republican elected in Alabama.”