The President of the United States announced today to the gathered crowds at a Texas flood rescue centre that he will be launching a range of water based golf buggies to cope with the “perfectly normal but slightly excessive water” he has seen on golf courses lately.
Trump began by thanking the crowd for coming out just to see him and a range of new hats he was promoting, before proudly revealing how he had been inspired by the great new water features he had seen from the safety of his presidential helicopter.
“I came up with this great idea while flying over your flooded golf courses, looking for somewhere to play a round or two,” he explained to those shivering in blankets around him.
“Obviously this extra rain is an everyday act of God and nothing to do with China’s climate change lie.
“And God has told me that everyone should carry on playing golf, especially at the many great Trump golf courses, no matter how wet it gets.
“We’ve always had the best water hazards at our courses, and you can expect us to lead the way in the exciting new market of wet golf.”
When asked about how he was going to help the many thousands of people who had been made homeless during the recent flooding, Trump blamed ‘Fake News’ for the weather, got angry and walked out of the meeting.
The new Trump Caddyboats will come in various sizes including 1 seater, 2 seater and “Yuge”, all baring Trump’s name and the slogan “#MAGA Make Aquatic Golf Again”