Channel 4’s Great British Bake Off to contain graphic sex, gratuitous violence and strong language

author avatar by 7 years ago

Channel 4 has made some changes to the favourite baking show to give it a similar flavour to its other shows and to ensure good ratings, it has been revealed.

The broadcaster, famous for pushing the boundaries of television with edgy programming, has revealed plans to radically overhaul the popular baking show.

Series producer Simon Williams announced, “The Great British Bake Off on the BBC was a very pleasant affair, peppered with mild innuendos and gentle tension, but it was a bit…well, boring.

“We shall be making the show far more exciting and entertaining, as only we know how.”

Full details have yet to be released, but one rumoured change is that the loser of each episode will be stripped and savagely beaten with an assortment of kitchen utensils for fifteen minutes before leaving the tent, all under the direction of finely goateed overlord Paul Hollywood.

NewsThump Hoodies

Simon Williams added, “Our piercingly blue-eyed presenter will be playing a more active role in the series.

“For example, in one episode the technical challenge will be to bake a raspberry Pavlova in the time it takes for the loser from the previous week – male or female – to have full intercourse with the gruff Cheshire host.”

Mr Williams added, “The showstopper challenge in Channel 4’s final episode will see the contestants tasked with making an ornate centrepiece using only the dry ingredients we provide and whatever bodily fluids they can muster.

“And as for sticky bottoms, well you’ll have to wait and see.”

The new series will be aired post-watershed in the late summer.