John McDonnell wraps his words in inflammatory cladding

author avatar by 7 years ago

The Shadow Chancellor has been accused of using ‘inflammatory cladding’ to make his speeches look better to nearby middle-class supporters this morning.

McDonnell, whose speeches are usually cheaply constructed from materials dating from the 1970s, is understood to have attempted to cover his words with brightly coloured but highly inflammatory cladding in order to draw attention away from their ugliness and structural weakness.

Critics of McDonnell suggest that his use of the word ‘murder’ in a speech this weekend had no practical purpose beyond decoration and risked fanning the flames of hate.

“People have been writing to warn about McDonnell for years,” we were told. “He needs to be fitted with some sort of alarm to warn people of the danger of his rhetoric, or a system to damp him down.”

“Like most developments from the era, he claims he was put together for poor people but really he’s trying to market himself to prosperous middle classes looking to live somewhere edgy.

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“The problem with this sort of thing is that it just papers over the cracks, and increases risks rather solve any of the serious structural problems within his proposals.

“Really, the best solution would be to tear him down and replace him with something sounder, but there simply isn’t the political will to do it.”