24-year-old clerical assistant, Fiona Smith, has dumped her unreliable boyfriend for ‘probably’ cheating on her after he failed to immediately respond to her Whatsapp message.
Fighting back the tears Fiona tries to recall the emotional events leading to her heartbreak.
“All I asked was if he fancied fish fingers for tea. Darren loves fish fingers. Well, at least he used to. I imagine he’s tucking into chicken nuggets or a Chicago Town pizza with his new tart now.
“Yes, he was at a funeral at the time, but when 30 seconds go past after seeing the two blue ticks on the message I sent to him, it can only mean one thing – he’s banging the widow against the coffin.”
Darren Evans, a 29-year-old car mechanic, has taken the split in his stride after being told of the development.
He told us, “Yes, Fiona is right, I do love fish fingers, and I’m hoping that one day I can eat them again with Fiona, but for the moment I’m going to enjoy getting wrecked with the lads on a few nights out that I don’t have to ask permission for.”
Fiona and Darren’s story is not uncommon. Over 146% of couples in their mid-20s suffer from IWS (irrational WhatsApp syndrome), leading to dysfunctional relationships and anger issues for many.
Earlier today, a young man from Chester was punched in the face by his partner after being asleep when she sent a drunk message at 2.49am.
He claims to have learnt from his mistake and will never, ever rest again.