Tuesday 5 July 2016 by Julia Thacker

Cluedo’s Mrs White to sue Doctor Black for age discrimination

Cluedo Mrs White

An elderly domestic servant has accused her employer of age discrimination after she was fired from the job she has held for 67 years.

Mrs White, the housekeeper, last seen with the wrench in the conservatory at the mansion of Doctor Black, is suing for unfair dismissal after she was told that she was to be replaced by a much younger woman with a sexy Swiss accent who may have tried to off someone with a daffodil.

Mrs White said, “Bloody foreigners. Coming over here, stealing my job of having a 1/6 chance of murdering the master with a candlestick.

“As if I’d use the good silver. Getting blood off that is a bloomin’ nightmare, and it’s me who would have to clean it with a stick of rhubarb. Miss Scarlett and that weed Plum won’t lift a finger.”

Others from the household have come out in support of Mrs White.

“Our generation is being discarded in favour of these young flibbertigibbets,” moaned Colonel Mustard, pondering the fate of Mrs White and also The Admiral and his eponymous insurance company.

“One day there he was with his telescope talking about multicar options and the next there’s some girlie in a bicorne hat slinking about the place.

“Heavens knows what will happen to Captain Birdseye and my dear Aunt Bessie. We mature persons are being cast out.

“Except at the ballot box. That’s where we trump the little bastards.”

Mrs White’s employer, Doctor Black, was unavailable for comment, largely due to him having a dagger sticking out of his back in the billiard room.

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