The International Labour Organisation is to start an immediate investigation into working conditions for players in the Premier League, after Manchester United’s Tomasz Kuszczak revealed he was being treated like a “slave”.
This claim has added weight to rumours that players at a number of professional clubs are in similar positions, with the number being paid tens of thousands of pounds each week to do absolutely nothing expected to run into the dozens.
An ILO spokesperson announced, “We’ve been aware of human rights abuses against Premier League stars for many years now, but this latest shocking revelation is the final straw for us.”
“We are monitoring another situation at United where a number of attacking players are apparently being forced against their will to try to form a partnership with Dimitar Berbatov.”
“The mere idea is simply despicable.”
Premier League slavery alarm
Kuszczak’s claims have drawn the attention of a number of other leading global charities, with many away insisting they will divert resources from humanitarian crises like the famine in the horn of Africa so they can focus on this critical issue.
An Amnesty International statement read, “We will be fully exploring these accusations as a matter of urgent priority.”
“Though we admit that it is heart-warming to see that a petition demanding that Manchester United free Tomasz Kuszczak has already got nearly eleven signatures.”
“We have also been contacted by an Argentinian man by the name of Carlos who insists he will testify to being treated horrendously in Manchester in recent seasons.”