John Terry legal team insist he’s equally despicable to all races

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The legal team behind John Terry’s defence against a potential racism charge will aim to show that he is equally awful to people of all skin colours.

The Metropolitan police have begun a formal investigation into allegations against Terry, after someone told them they had to.

However the team defending the England captain have been quick to outline their defence strategy.

Lawyer Simon Matthews told reporters, “John Terry behaves no worse to someone of Anton Ferdinand’s skin colour, than he does to someone of Wayne Bridge’s skin colour. There is plenty of evidence to support this assertion.”

“How can he be racist when he’s a total shit to white people, too? You have to remember that some of his most vociferous verbal attacks have been against people with the same skin colour as himself.”

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John Terry investigation

Legal experts has claimed that the case will rest on whether the prosecution can prove that John Terry behaves any worse to black people that he does to other races.

Terry’s Lawyer went on, “They have no case. He categorically does not discriminate, he treats everyone the same in that he’s awful to absolutely all of them.”

“Black, white, yellow or brown, he’s equally likely to behave in a detestable manner towards you as the next person.”

“Anyway, how can he be racist? Some of the millionaires he’s employed to run around a field with are black.  Isn’t that proof enough?”