Britons all over the country have had to be evacuated from their homes today following the arrival of unprecedented levels of sovereignty, which started to appear in towns and villages just after midnight.
Miniature Bounty bars across the country have expressed their optimism about not being left to rot at the bottoms of Celebrations tubs this year.
Parents across the nation have reported their four-year-olds losing the will to live at the prospect of having to do this ‘school’ thing every week for the next fourteen years.
An investigation is underway after thousands of men across Britain were somehow all bestowed with the title of “World’s Best Dad” amidst Father’s Day celebrations.
A middle-class couple from Surrey are facing a public backlash for refusing visitors to their home access to their wireless internet connection.
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