Lottery winner refusing to buy gaudy expensive monstrosities
Lottery winner Simon Williams has shocked friends and acquaintances by not spending his new found wealth on horrifically tasteless items that cost more than a family car.
Universally loathed Government slips to double-digit poll lead
The unpopular and divisive government who nobody voted for has slipped to a mere 14 point lead today, leading to fears they may only get a 150 seat majority in any snap General Election.
National Lottery criticised for picking same numbers 8 weeks in a row
The National Lottery draw has taken place and the numbers you need to scoop the prize have been announced. The National Lottery Lotto winning numbers are: 28, 21, 56, 50, 20, 33 and the Bonus Ball is 43.
Gamers sat on sofa enjoying sight of Pokémon Go players outside in the rain
Gamers have insisted that although Pokémon Go looks like fun, it’s not as much fun as playing games on the sofa surrounded by your creature comforts.
Man whose house became Pokémon Gym upgrades home security to Fort Knox standards
42-year-old Simon Williams has been forced to upgrade his home security system due to the threat of Pokémon Go players using his home as a ‘gym’.
British holidaymakers hiring cars abroad urged not to drive like arseholes
British holidaymakers hiring cars abroad have been reminded that driving like an idiot is even more dangerous when you’re the one on the wrong side of the road.
Angela Eagle’s office window stages unjustifiable and undemocratic attack on innocent brick
Jeremy Corbyn supporters have condemned the ‘unjustifiable attack’ on a brick by Angela Eagle’s office window today.
