Prince Harry confirms horrific night time nappy change more traumatic than Afghanistan frontline

Prince Harry has spoken out of his desire to return to the frontline after a gruesome incident with a full nappy in the dead of night.

The Duke of Sussex, 34, took his turn changing his newborn son’s nappy per his agreement with his wife, seemingly unaware of the horrors that lay before him.

“I’ve been told that talking about it will help, but I just… can’t… seem to get the words out,” Williams told us, before looking off into the distance.

“It all happened so quickly, one minute I was happily carrying my son into the nursery to change him, the next it was… just everywhere.

“There was no hiding, it was coming from all directions, and I was overwhelmed. I’ve flown helicopters under fire in warzones, but this left me completely panicked.

“You train for this, obviously, but no NCT class can prepare you for the full horror when it’s happening there right in front of you, and you’re in the middle of it.

“I mean literally still happening. You pray it’s over – but it’s not. It’s still coming out in a seemingly endless violent stream. Uness you’ve seen it firsthand, you can’t imagine the horrors created by something so innocent looking.”

He went on to explain that the reality had been far different from his dream of parenthood.

He revealed, “Look, I get it, they sell you on parenthood so it looks like a wonderful adventure that will take you to places you never thought you’d see – but they never focus on the grisly reality of life on the front line.

“No-one would sign up for this if they knew they would have to go through the things that I’ve had to go through.”

The Duchess of Sussex responded, “Look, I don’t care if he’s seen action in a real warzone, I do 90% of the nappies and deal with all the puke, so he needs to man the fuck up.”

Advertisement

WANT TO GET RIDOF ALL THE ADS?

Support topical satire for the price of one coffee month!

SUBSCRIBE HERE →