Mate inviting you out for a ‘couple of beers’ has no intention of only having a couple of beers

A mate who has suggested going for a ‘couple of beers’ has absolutely no intention of stopping the evening’s festivities after two beers.

Your mate, you know the one, reached out earlier today and suggested it might be nice to catch up over a couple of beers, seeing as it’s the weekend.

“You know, it’s Friday, we’ve got a couple of days off work, I’m just suggesting a couple of beers might be nice,” they said, convincing absolutely no-one that this is what he was actually suggesting.

“We can meet up after work, and you’ll probably be home long before dinner – no problem,” they concluded, seemingly unaware their fiendish plan was utterly transparent to all within earshot.

We spoke to your friend under the promise of anonymity, and they told us the ‘couple of beers’ promise was a tried and tested was of getting you out when you were ‘on the fence’ about going out.

They explained, “I know how it works, if I can get you to have two beers, then three beers is a very easy sell by that point. And everyone knows that once you’re three beers in, I can definitely convince you to have at least one shot.

“From that point on, the evening is our oyster and adventure awaits.

“Yes, I know I’m saying two beers right now, but I fully expect us to fall out of a kebab shop at 3 am having spent the best part of this week’s wages getting arseholed in a club we spend the rest of the week insisting we hate.

“And you bloody know it.”

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