Judy Murray to bid for new son as transfer window opens

Judy Murray has confirmed at a press conference this morning that she is becoming ‘fed up’ of the attitude of her main star and is open to the possibility of signing a replacement before the end of the month.

It follows news that Andy, who at the peak of his success was her favourite child, had pulled out of another tournament claiming that he had injured his hip.

A frustrated Judy has revealed that this is less to do with an injury and more to do with a breakfast time feud, exclusively telling our reporter, “There was no sign of a limp when I woke Andy as usual at 8am, helped him into his Winnie the Pooh dressing gown and slippers and told him his porridge was ready.

“He bounded downstairs like it was Christmas morning again.

“Afterwards he was playing with his toys with brother Jamie but then claimed he didn’t feel well and didn’t want to go to tennis. That’s when the limping started.”

She continued, “pretending he couldn’t get upstairs and stamping on Jamie’s Lego fort. He’s on the transfer list now, and we’ll have to see what happens.”

There have been unconfirmed rumours that Judy could even be forced to change disciplines and that she is ready to make a multi-million-pound bid for Paul Hollywood.

She should have no problem selling Andy, with early speculation suggesting that David and Victoria Beckham could be ready to table a bid for the British number one, whilst the news of his availability will not have gone unnoticed by long-time admirers Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford.