37-year-old-man’s ‘pre drinks’ now five pints of water and a Berocca

A nearly grown-up man formerly known as a ‘legend’ around his university campus is beginning to face up to the realities of his new life.

Simon Williams, 37, from Horsham in Surrey, was the self-proclaimed ‘strawpedo king’ on his Loughborough University Campus after regularly knocking back five Smirnoff ice and a Blue WKD in under twelve seconds.

But that was the late 1990s and Simon has noticed a slight shift in his stamina over the last five or six years.

“It actually began in my early 30s,” Simon told us.

“I would adopt my normal pre-drinks routine, but started to notice that I would be slurring in the taxi on the way to the pub. I was unable to remember large parts of the night and I would wake up at 6 am unable to get back to sleep.”

Over recent years Simon has adopted a ‘safety first’ approach to his nights out to ensure he doesn’t ever make a pass at his girlfriend’s sister again.

“If I have a night out planned with a mate, or if I’m going on a stag do, I’ll make sure I have it all mapped out before I even start. I’ll go for a swim or a light jog in the morning to loosen everything up.

“I’ll eat a plate of kale and broccoli for lunch and then at around 6 pm I’ll knock back 5 pints of water and a precautionary Berocca.

“Yes, I may well spend the first three hours of the night going to the toilet, but it’s worth it in the end.”

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