Prime Minister’s Questions to be renamed ‘Jeopardy’

Prime Minister’s Questions is to be named after the game show Jeopardy, with MPs receiving cash prizes for guessing which question Theresa May is actually answering.

Mrs May, with her trademark emotionless face and creaking voice, will host the show on Wednesdays at 12 pm.

The unique answer-and-question format will remain largely unchanged from Prime Minister’s Questions, with Mrs May continuing to present MPs with clues in the form of answers.

The MPs will then look through their notes to see if she’s answering their question, or whether she’s simply saying some words in the hope that no-one notices she hasn’t got the slightest clue what the fuck she’s on about.

Early contestants included the leader of opposition Jeremy Corbyn who asked about economic planning for post-Brexit scenarios, only to hear an answer to the question, “What would the Prime Minister like to say about the previous Government?”

“I guessed incorrectly,” said a distraught Corbyn afterwards, “I was sure she was answering the question ‘Why isn’t anything my fault?’.”

The was only one winner in the inaugural Jeopardy PMQs, with a Labour backbencher listening to May’s answer about a review of the government’s plans for Universal Credit, before successfully shouting, “Why am I so bloody great!”