Tim Farron wasn’t homophobic enough to be a good leader, insist DUP

The Democratic Unionist Party have blamed Tim Farron’s half-hearted attempt at homophobia during his leadership of the Liberal Democrats as the reason he hasn’t lasted in politics.

Tim Farron resigned as leader of the Liberal Democrats yesterday, citing difficulties in keeping his ‘personal faith and leadership of the party in balance’ as a major factor in his decision to quit.

Arlene Foster, who as the head of the DUP now ironically finds herself now in a close partnership with another female leader, has expressed her annoyance that Mr Farron was a bit wishy-washy when it came to gay bashing during his tenure.

“If you are going to lead a party you need to be clear exactly what you believe,” she told reporters “no matter how wildly outdated or daft it may seem to others.

“Tim Farron kept saying he wasn’t sure whether being gay was a sin or not, and he came across as a bit half-arsed in his approach to homophobia, if you’ll pardon the pun.”

She went on, “The key to the DUP’s long-lasting success, aside from having terrorist supporters at our beck and call, has been our consistently strong approach to beating off the gays.

“Not in that way, of course.”

After hearing this, Tim Farron responded, “Well I guess I must have been doing something right if the party who believe the earth is only a few thousand years old wouldn’t want to be associated with me.”