8 million unregistered voters preparing to start voter registration process one hour before deadline

Britain’s unregistered voters are preparing themselves to start the voter registration process one hour before the deadline on 22nd May.

The registration process for the EU referendum famously crashed due to meddling by the Russian government people trying to register at the very last minute.

Unregistered voter, Simon Williams, said, “This whole election nonsense is really, really boring. Politics has nothing to do with my life at all. It doesn’t affect it, or my children, in any way whatsoever.

“I just want them to get a good, affordable education, be able to get a job that pays their low mortgage on a good-sized house and makes them financially secure by sensible saving in bank accounts with good interest rates and wise investment in the corporate sector.

“I want them to have a family and live in a nice, integrated, salubrious area that doesn’t have any potholes, pollution or nuclear attack, where they can sit down at night and watch Question Time, safe in the knowledge that our wonderful NHS will be able to deal with the cancer that statistically at least one of the three of us will get in our lifetime.

“Now, tell me – where does politics come in in any of that?

“I’ll tell you, nowhere.

“But then, I – and 7,999,999 other people – will really think about it when it’s all over the news on the night of the 22nd May and they’re banging on about voter registration and it’ll hit me then – and ONLY then – that… FUCKING HELL EVERYTHING IS ABOUT POLITICS!!”

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