You must unconditionally support the Brexit plan we’re not going to tell you about, insists Government

The government has claimed that anyone not voicing full-throated support for a Brexit plan that doesn’t exist does not want Britain to succeed, according to an official spokesperson.

Theresa May’s personal spokesperson said that any party, group or individual not backing the government’s plan for Brexit is a traitor to the nation.

They explained, “People need to get behind the Brexit plan. Nothing bad ever came from vocally backing something 100% before you even knew what it was. Nothing.

“So not having the tiniest of clues what the government’s Brexit plan actually is, should be no impediment to offering it your unconditional support.”

Remain voter Simon Williams told us, “I’m not backing the government’s Brexit plan because I think it will go too far in extricating us from the EU.”

However, his Brexit-voting brother Dave, told us, “I’m not backing the government’s Brexit plan because I think it won’t go far enough in extricating us from the EU.”

A government spokesperson told them that he understood their concerns, but reiterated that both of them will be delighted with the Brexit outcome, and that if they don’t start voicing their support very soon indeed they will be classified as traitors who want the nation to fail.

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt!

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