Remainer ‘re-education’ camps to be established

Following criticism of the Government over ‘shambolic’ plans for Brexit, the Government has announced plans for mandatory remainer ‘re-education’ at camps to be established across the country.

“We’re just trying to foster a little bit of national unity,” confirmed not-mad Secretary for International Trade Liam Fox.

“There is definitely nothing sinister about being strapped to a table and forced to watch hours and hours of film of a bucolic fantasy 1950s Britain whilst a comforting voice repeats ‘Brexit is Brexit’ over and over again.”

The camps will be set up in all the major regions, they will each contain 12 dormitories that will house up to 50 detainees and will be staffed by armed guards.

It is currently unknown whether cheap immigrant labour will be used to clean the toilets at the camps.

“Attendance will be mandatory,” confirmed Dr Fox.

“Remember, we have an electoral register that shows how everyone voted, so we’re coming for you.”

Coincidentally, ‘We’re coming for you,’ is expected to be the next Tory election campaign slogan.

A remainer who spent several months in a prototype ‘re-education’ camp seemed pleased with the results.

“Brexit means Brexit,” she said.

“We’ve taken back control. It’s a sovereignty issue. So-called experts.”

At which point a large tendril of drool began to form at the corner of her mouth and she was wheeled away, perfectly ‘re-educated’ as a supporter of Brexit.