Britons delighted that 25,000 people in a Manchester suburb have chosen their next prime minister

The United Kingdom has once again given the world a lesson in democracy by letting a few thousand people who put pies inside of buns decide who will run a country of 70 million souls for years to come.

Simon Williams, a historian and political journalist, explained that the whole process showed how the British electoral system was a shining example to lesser developed nations.

“I think it’s fantastic that the Mother of Parliaments will soon welcome a new member that is certain to become the next PM despite his previous claims of wanting to be a local politician.

“The previous Makerfield MP lost his Cabinet job for some completely innocent snooping into the private lives of journalists, so naturally he had no choice other than to tell his constituents that he was resigning from the job he convinced them to give him. Especially as the seat was needed to make the Mayor of Manchester an MP solely so he could challenge the current PM and take his job.”

Mr Williams was adamant that people in the UK were absolutely fine with their next prime minister being chosen through arcane party-political procedures that they mostly have no way to participate in.

He went on, “This silly idea of putting someone in power through the ballot box then removing them the same way is eurotrash nonsense, and that’s why it hasn’t happened since Ted Heath.

“Brits love a surprise, and having no real agency in who rules them makes the whole process more fun. After all, we have no say in who our King is, so it makes sense that the PM gets selected by a few randos who think ‘thawot’ is a word.”

Advertisement

Classic BritishComedy tees

Celebrating the best of British comedy from the 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond.

See the full collection →