Ceasefire going swimmingly

The ceasefire between the US, Israel and Iran is going absolutely swimmingly, representatives of each country have insisted. 

Despite the continued attacks on each other, the ceasefire is still apparently in place, with the involved countries telling everyone there’s absolutely nothing to worry about. 

“The ceasefire is still holding strong,” said the US, Israel and Iran in a joint statement. 

“If anything, we’re becoming really good friends. All this talk of missiles being exchanged has been massively exaggerated. They’re more like friendly missiles between mates. Like if a missile hits Tehran, that’s just Israel saying hello. Or if a missile hits Tel Aviv, that’s just Iran saying ‘Good to hear from you, how are things over there?’

“The media loves to blow things out of proportion. The burning buildings and piles of rubble really aren’t as bad as they look. We wanted to get rid of those buildings anyway. We’re actually doing each other a favour when you think about it. That’s why all this chatter about the ceasefire collapsing is completely ridiculous. It’s all good.

“Oh, and by the way, Trump didn’t shout at Netanyahu. They were just doing a bit. It was a joke. Trump screaming ‘You’re fucking crazy!’ was just banter. Jeez, does nobody understand comedy anymore? Can’t a guy tell his mate ‘You’d be in prison if it weren’t for me!’ without everyone having a meltdown?

“It’s political correctness gone mad.”

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