Trump urges UK to send ships to war he apparently won weeks ago

President Donald Trump has urged the UK and other allies to send warships to Iran, despite repeatedly saying the war had already been won. 

Last week Trump criticised the UK and Prime Minister Keir Starmer in a Truth Social post saying “We don’t need people that join wars after we’ve already won”, but is now calling on allies to join that very same war. 

“We’re getting very mixed messages,” said Keir Starmer, trying to decipher Trump’s latest Truth Social post.

“I thought they’d already won the war? Last week the guy was slagging me off saying he doesn’t need the UK anymore. Now he’s telling the UK and other allies to send warships to the Strait of Hormuz.

“I genuinely don’t know what he wants. We’re all pulling our hair out.

“I tried calling the president yesterday, but after about 30 seconds on Iran he started talking about Toy Story 5. I don’t even know how it happened. We were talking about the warships thing and then suddenly out of the blue he said, ‘So what do you think about this new iPad character they’re bringing in?’

“Apparently he doesn’t think it’s going to be a very good movie. I said they probably should’ve stopped at Toy Story 3, and then he hung up. 

“I’m just not going to send any warships, and hopefully he forgets he even asked.”

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