Trump gifts staffers dress shoes with extra room for bone spurs

US President Donald Trump has gifted White House staffers and cabinet members dress shoes with extra room for bone spurs, it has been revealed.

Worth around $145, Trump gifted pairs of the shoes to cabinet members such as JD Vance and Marco Rubio, making sure to leave extra space for bone spurs, to keep up his draft-dodging charade.

“There’s a bit of extra room in the heel area,” said JD Vance, terrified to take off the shoes in case it makes his boss angry.

“They’re really nice shoes. Well, at least that’s what I told him. Marco Rubio told me he’s been sleeping in them just in case Trump finds out he’s taken them off and fires him.

“Not many people know this, but that’s actually why Kristi Noem got sacked. She took off the shoes and was immediately replaced as Secretary of Homeland Security.

“I suppose there are some benefits. The extra room for bone spurs means I can avoid the upcoming draft for the Iran war.

“The shoes also have a little compartment in the sole for my eyeliner. You know, like the kids shoes Clark’s used to sell with a little toy in the compartment.

“(Sigh) Man, I hate this job sometimes.”

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