Donald Trump to stop bombing Iran and claim he ended his ninth war

author avatar by 8 months ago

In a stroke of genius, US President Donald Trump admitted he is planning to stop bombing Iran and then immediately claim credit for ending his ninth war.

With the US-Israeli conflict with Iran continuing to rage on, Donald Trump has revealed his masterplan of eventually stopping the bombs and telling everybody how he single-handedly ended another war.

“He’s a genius,” said US political commentator Chuck Williams. 

“Just think about it for a second. If he bombs Iran for a while, and then eventually stops bombing Iran, that technically means he stopped another war, right? I mean, talk about thinking outside of the box. This guy is just on another level. This is 4D chess in action.

“Obviously there’s going to be a few civilian casualties, but needs must if you’re going for that second consecutive FIFA Peace Prize. I’m sure the families of the deceased will understand if you tell them Trump got another little trophy. They need to think of the bigger picture. There’s a lot more at stake here than simply keeping people alive.

“Hang on, I’ve just had a brainwave. You know what sounds better than ending nine wars? Ending TEN wars. Maybe the US could start bombing Iraq or Afghanistan.

“Oh, we’ve already done those? How about Vietnam? Oh, you’re joking! We just can’t catch a break.”

Yet more NewsThump stories