‘Oh f**k’ says Donald Trump

Following newly-released email evidence where Jeffrey Epstein suggests Donald Trump spent hours with one of the victims, the White House has today released a two-word statement from Donald Trump simply reading, ‘Oh f**k.’

Three email exchanges were released by Democrats on the Oversight Committee in the US House of Representatives today suggesting Trump not only knew about the victims, but spent hours with one.

However, luckily for Trump, his team are already thinking of ways to get him out of it.

“‘Oh fuck’ is all the president wishes to say at this moment in time,” said White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt.

“Obviously that shouldn’t be taken as an admission of guilt as there’s numerous factors at play here. For example, those emails were clearly generated by AI. You don’t believe that one, huh? Okay, then how about those emails were put together by the BBC to make it look like the president is guilty? Take your pick. We can come up with these all day.

“Oh, I’ve got another one! How about the emails are a hoax orchestrated by the Democrats? That’s my personal favourite. Yes, that could work. AOC and Gavin Newsom both came together to create fake email accounts to send these emails back and forth to each other, then they created a time machine so they could go back and ensure those emails are part of the treasure trove of evidence against Epstein.

“Thank God. For a second there I thought we weren’t going to have any defence against this at all.”

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