No point meeting Putin while he’s still only eight weeks behind my two-week deadline to start peace talks, insists Trump
by Andy Matthews 1 year ago 
Donald Trump has confirmed that his much-hyped “peace talks” with Vladimir Putin in Budapest have been “temporarily cancelled”, citing the Russian leader entering the eighth week of ignoring Trump’s “strict and totally real” two-week deadline to start peace talks in Ukraine
Speaking from a golf course somewhere in Florida, Trump told reporters, “I told Putin very strongly, very strongly, to start peace talks within two weeks. Nobody’s ever seen a deadline like that. It was the best deadline. And now he’s into week eight of that two-week deadline, he’s being a bit disrespectful!”
Sources close to the Kremlin say Putin remains entirely unaware that such a deadline ever existed, having reportedly spent most of the past two months “not giving a single frozen bear turd” about Trump’s opinion on Ukraine.
Undeterred, Trump insists the cancellation is a masterstroke of diplomacy.
“You can’t just reward lateness,” he told reporters. “If I say they have two weeks to start peach talks with Ukraine, and then eight weeks later they haven’t sheduled any at all, what’s next? Twelve weeks? A year? Total chaos.”
When asked if he’d consider rescheduling the meeting, Trump hinted he might do so “as soon as Putin recognises my tremendous influence in this peace process, or at least returns one of my calls.”
Aides say the President had been “really looking forward” to the talks, mostly because they involved a gold-plated name badge, a press conference, and a buffet.
Meanwhile, Putin is believed to be continuing his strategy of “pretending Trump doesn’t exist,” a tactic described by analysts as “highly effective and emotionally satisfying.”
As of press time, Trump has issued a new ultimatum: peace talks must begin “within the next two weeks, or I’ll be forced to think about considering doing something else again.”
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