Angel of the North officially relocated to Sunderland

The Angel of the North has officially been relocated from Gateshead to Sunderland following another massive cock-up by organisers of the Great North Run. 

“We’ve got no choice,” said Great North Run organiser Simon Williams, watching the Angel of the North being loaded onto the back of a lorry. 

“Next year’s medals are already made up. They’ve got a picture of the Angel of the North on them with ‘Sunderland’ written below it. Moving the sculpture to Sunderland is the only way the medals will be factually accurate.

“Obviously I should’ve known the Angel of the North was in Gateshead. But then again, I couldn’t tell the difference between an aerial view of Newcastle and Sunderland. I definitely need to start double-checking things on Google before I spend all that money on medals. 

“At least everyone at the race enjoyed meeting Alan Shearer at the finish line. What do you mean that was Niall Quinn? Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me. You know, I did wonder why Alan Shearer suddenly had hair. 

“At least things can only get better from here. I promise you that no one will complain about next year’s medals. You have my word. I’m completely committed to making the 2027 Great North Run our best race yet.”

Advertisement

NewsThumpNotebooks

Somewhere to write down everything that’s wrong with the world. You may need several.

See the full collection →