“I dunno, maybe try Rwanda again?” says a shrugging Nigel Farage

People are rejoicing today after Nigel Farage finally revealed his illegal migration master-plan, which involves the never-seen-before idea of sending migrants to Rwanda.

It comes after the Reform leader told The Times that his party will publish an Illegal Migration (Mass Deportation) Bill next week, which will definitely solve everything.

“I think it could work,” said Farage, leaning over to copy Rishi Sunak’s homework.

“I know this is pretty much the only topic I ever talk about, but you try coming up with original ideas. It’s really hard. No one told me that being an MP would require me to do some actual work and come up with actual policies.

“Wait, hold that thought. I think I’ve got it! How about instead of allowing them to contribute to the economy, we give migrants £2,500 to leave the country? That could work, right? Nigel, you’re a genius.

“Oh, Trump already came up with that idea? And he was only offering $1,000? Wow, that’s a bit stingy. I mean, these are human beings after all. 

“Look, all I know is that these small boats have been rapidly on the rise since the start of 2021 and it needs to stop. It’s almost like something happened in December 2020 that removed us from the Dublin Regulation.”

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