“Autism made me do it” insists Ted Bundy

author avatar by 1 year ago

Notorious serial killer Ted Bundy has revealed that his autism diagnosis is actually the real reason he murdered all those women back in the 1970s. 

It comes after former MasterChef presenter Gregg Wallace was criticised by charities for linking his own autism diagnosis to multiple misconduct claims levelled against him, a tactic Bundy has now taken in his stride. 

“Oh, I didn’t realise we could use that excuse,” said Ted Bundy.

“Yep, it was definitely the autism. I’m 100% positive I became a serial killer because of the autism and the autism alone. 

“I’m sure some people are going to point out that lots of people with autism don’t go on mad killing sprees. Don’t listen to those people. Autism is definitely the thing that made me pick up that knife.

“I suppose I could’ve used the old Kevin Spacey trick of being accused of rape and then suddenly announcing that I’m gay, but I think this autism angle is much better. In fact, not many people know this but OJ Simpson, John Wayne Gacy and Jeffrey Dahmer were all autistic too. 

“I just hope people can forgive me now that they know the truth about my diabetes. Shit, did I say diabetes? I meant autism.”

Caughtism – get the definition on a mug here!

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