“I was thinking about Toy Story 3 again” admits a tearful Rachel Reeves

Rachel Reeves has admitted her tears in the Commons yesterday were a result of her thinking about the emotional ending of Toy Story 3.

There was lots of speculation after Reeves was seen crying during Prime Minister’s Questions on Wednesday, though the Chancellor has since cleared things up by confirming she was just thinking about Buzz and Woody.

“It gets me every single time,” said the Toy Story super-fan, who has ‘Rachel’ written on the bottom of her shoe.

“It’s like a sucker-punch to the heart when they’re all holding hands in the incinerator. You think you’re through the worst of it, but then at the end you realise Andy is never going to see his toys again. It absolutely kills me inside.

“Forget all that welfare shite. We’re talking about something that’s actually important here. Watching Buzz and Woody say goodbye to their best friend in the world is much more meaningful than the stricter rules for POP payments or PIP payments, whatever they’re called.

“Oh, and don’t even get me started on Toy Story 4. I was in the cinema balling my eyes out when Woody left the gang. How could he do that to me? It took five members of Odeon staff to drag me back from the screen. I was fully prepared to knock that smug bitch Bo Peep clean out for stealing my cowboy.

“She better watch her back in Toy Story 5.”