Prison-bound Andrew Tate reveals which luxury watch he’ll be hiding inside his rectum

Andrew Tate is the envy of everyone today after showing off the new $200,000 Hublot he’ll be hiding inside his rectum to trade during his upcoming prison sentence.

Tate – who along with his brother Tristan is accused of rape and human trafficking in both Romania and the UK – was seen flaunting the luxury watch on social media, before closing his eyes and taking a big deep breath. 

“You all wish you had my life,” said professional misogynist Andrew Tate, relaxing his sphincter.

“I’ve gotten some mixed reviews on the colour of the Hublot up my ass. Some people like it, some people don’t like it. So I said, ‘What colour is the Hublot up your ass?’ That usually shuts them up. 

“A less successful man would have a Casio or a Swatch up there. How embarrassing. They’ll be so jealous when Top G strolls into the canteen with an exquisite, albeit slightly pungent timepiece strapped to my wrist.

“No one in that prison will have a Hublot to trade, that’s for sure. Shit, now I’m thinking about it, that’s not a great trade for me is it? Someone’s going to get a Hublot and I’ll be stuck with a shitty gold ring or some drug dealer’s crack. 

“No pun intended.”

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