‘They’re taking over!’ claims man, after learning 0.78% of new babies are named Muhammad

A man is furious today after it was revealed that a massive 0.78% of new babies have been named Muhammad. 

Derek Williams said the vein on his forehead has been bulging all day since official figures revealed 4,600 out of 591,000 new babies born in the UK were given the name.

He told us, “It’s absolutely ridiculous to be honest with you. Our British identity is under real threat and this is just the tip of the iceberg.

“No one seems to be taking this problem seriously enough. Do people genuinely not realise that the 99.22% are completely outnumbered?

“I mean, you could throw a rock in this country and hit at least three Muhammads. In fact, that’s why I was arrested at the protests in the summer.

“And let’s not forget all the variations. Mohammed, Mohammad, Muhamad. Proper names should only have one spelling, like Shaun or Steven.”

Despite the latest figures, Williams says he hasn’t been dissuaded from giving his offspring good, old-fashioned British names. 

“For some reason the name Gregg has suddenly become less popular, but what’s wrong with naming a baby Keith or Nigel? I’m naming my boy Charles after the King. You can’t get any more English than that. 

“What do you mean Charles is a French name?”

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