Daily Mail celebrates ‘Barely legal sexy girls getting exam results’ day

The Daily Mail is today celebrating the one day of the year when they can ask attractive eighteen-year-old girls to pose for photos without feeling at all seedy because it is A-Level results day.

In between the usual fabricated stories about immigrants and benefit scroungers, editors at the Daily Mail will feel it entirely appropriate to put a whole bunch of photos in the newspaper and today’s Mail Online of attractive female students holding envelopes triumphantly in the air.

Editor-in-chief of stirring up blind hate Simon Williams told us, “Here at the Mail we often receive criticism that our stories focus too heavily on the negatives in society.

“And while this is entirely accurate, today will be one of those special days where we celebrate happy news.

“Namely a bunch of sexy, young, barely legal girls jumping up and down holding their exam results. We’ll be aiming to get loads of photos of the most attractive girls bouncing up and down and grinning, because that’s what people who read our newspaper want to see, for sure.

“Just the pretty, white ones, mind. Wouldn’t want to put our readership off their bacon and eggs.”

Headteachers have advised students to ignore any Daily Mail journalists who might be hanging around, partly due to the photo issue, but also because it is worthy life advice that will set any student, regardless of their academic results, in good stead for the future.

I think, therefore I am, not a Daily Mail reader – get the T-shirt here!