Nation left shocked as yet another Tory accused of breaking the law to line their own pockets

The Gambling Commission is investigating a second Tory election candidate for betting on the general election date, leaving the general public shocked to their core that someone in their position would consider breaking the law to line their own pockets.

“I am shocked. Shocked I tell you,” explained voter Simon Williams.

“Such a fine upstanding party full of lovely law-abiding people, and yet they keep being accused of criminal activity? Why are the authorities picking on them?

“If it’s not some form of sexual assault, or groups of them breaking lockdown restrictions, it’s helping themselves to £200m of taxpayer funds for useless PPE. Why can’t the authorities look the other way, just for a bit, and let us have a few months where we’re not under the impression we’re being ruled by criminal degenerates?”

Meanwhile, a Conservative spokesperson has spoken out in defence of all the illegal activity undertaken by those in their ranks, insisting voters should not be concerned.

They told us, “Sure, I get that it looks bad that every time a Tory gets into a position of power, it looks like their first instinct is to ask themselves, ‘How can I use this opportunity to enrich myself personally’ – but the reality is, these missteps often took literally minutes. Do you know how long it takes place an illegal bet at the bookies? Two minutes. Tops.

“The rest of the time, they were all focused on delivering for you, the British people. So vote Conservative on 4th July.

“Please.”

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