Waitrose on verge of becoming entirely arsehole-free

As right-wing grifters continue to boycott Waitrose over their ‘disgustingly woke’ decision to include the pride flag in their Twitter logo, the supermarket chain admitted they are now almost entirely arsehole free.

A spokesperson for John Lewis told us, “You can now shop in all of our Waitrose branches safe in the knowledge you won’t stumble across Laurence Fox in the frozen aisle, or have to lean across Allison Pearson to get your apples.

“As of today, we are almost entirely arsehole free.”

Non-moron Simon Williams spoke of Laurence Fox’s boycott, telling us, “What we have here is a case of a contrarian moron-herder who seemingly only exists to find new things by which to be offended. Every day it’s something new. He should be called Captain Cancellation.

“The fact that the Waitrose Tommy Robinson is now boycotting Waitrose is funny in itself. I’m sure it will hurt Waitrose as much as his last big boycott, which was of coffee chain Costa, for daring to abide by the laws of the land at the time.

“A boycott by Laurence Fox and his followers should be a badge of honour for any self-respecting business in this day and age.

“Imagine being able to do your weekly shopping and guaranteeing that you won’t bump into the sort of twat who goes around insisting Laurance Fox is right about anything?

“Bliss.”