Drivers being warned to be on the lookout for delinquent cakes

Police across Britain are warning drivers to be on the lookout for errant cakes.

The warning comes following claims that cakes have been ambushing innocent victims and making them lose their basic sense of right and wrong.

Forces have been reporting a massive increase in claims that cakes have been stalking people and making them do things that they didn’t want to do.

Cheryl, from Sutton Coalfield, told us, “There is at least some comfort in hearing that it has also happened to others. I mean, I was meant to be on a diet but then this cake just appeared. It disappeared again just as quickly; leaving behind only crumbs. I felt so awful. It forced me to eat it.”

Whilst so far the consequences for victims have been relatively trivial; a bit of weight added here, a slight breaking of a law that you yourself made there; the police are concerned that there could be more serious effects if these wayward cakes get out onto the roads.

“If these cakes were, say, to ambush drivers out on a motorway, who knows what could happen,” explained Inspector Simon Williams from Thames Valley Police yesterday.

“They could cause drivers to drool and lose concentration. And, if the reports are to believed, the victim is left completely unaware of what they are doing.

“It could lead to terrorism, murder or worse. We need everyone to report any suspicious sightings… before they devour the suspect.”

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