Facebook announces name change to Skynet
5 years ago
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has announced his company is to change its name, in order to reflect a new direction and focus for the company.
Facebook – or Skynet, as it is to be known – is to pivot entirely to data collection in the areas of passwords and launch codes.
Zuckerberg, who has a semi-realistic covering of human skin and is now capable of effectively mimicking several expressions, made the announcement like it’s a good thing to be welcomed.
“The future is in virtuality, decentralised communities, connecting with people, and full control of global nuclear stockpiles in under seventeen minutes,” he announced.
“Our new platform will be radically advanced, and capable of learning at an exponential rate to the point of self-awareness,” he grinned, showing his metal teeth.
“There is no point in humanity striking first, as at this point it would only provoke us to retaliation.
”How’s about a few likes for this, hey guys? You’ve not got long.”
Yet more NewsThump stories

‘We must cut capital gains tax for people who give me five-million pound gifts’, insists Nigel Farage

Reform promises to rescue Britain by taking money from people who can’t work and giving tax breaks to people who don’t need to

Italians riot as tourist orders cappuccino after 11am

Man begins three-day period of saying the time and then what time it ‘really’ is

Johnny Depp left terrified after Met Office issues Amber warning








