The phrase “absolutely beautiful” has been lost to one group alone.
Previously used to describe sunsets, cathedrals and paintings, the phrase “absolutely beautiful” is now used exclusively by middle-aged men commenting on a photo of an attractive lady they have never spoken to in their life.
“Absolutely beautiful,” confirmed Simon Williams, 48, commenting as such on a photo of a random 19-year-old.
“What? It’s fine. I don’t think it’s weird. Besides, she might message me and then who knows what could happen? Don’t tell the wife though. Heh.”
Simon’s wife commented, “I know about it. I don’t care.”
“Simon is 48 and balding with and with a beer belly. I doubt a 19-year-old Instagram model with over a million followers is going to see his message and decide ‘he’s the one’.”
Sofia, the 19-year-old Instagram model, said “Simon who?
“He commented what? ‘Absolutely beautiful’?
“That doesn’t narrow it down at all, literally thousands of middle-aged men have commented that. They’re the only ones that use that phrase.
“I remember my dad said ‘absolutely beautiful’ once when we were driving through the mountains and saw the sun breaking through the clouds.
“It feels weird now.”