Xi Jinping warns the world: Nobody will ever oppress China again except me

As celebrations take place to mark the centenary of the Chinese Communist party, Premier Xi Jinping delivered a sternly-worded warning to the International community that nobody is going to oppress China except him.

Speaking in Tienanmen Square, where thirty years ago PLA troops massacred peaceful protesters who just rather wanted a bit less oppression, please, the head of the CCP warned foreign oppressors not to interfere in his domestic oppression.

“Any external powers trying to involve themselves in China will run up against a wall of human bodies which I put there”, he said. “Mine won’t be one of them, obviously, and nor will any of my friends or family, but the wall will stand steadfast against you if they know what’s good for them.”

Warming to his theme, the General Secretary announced there’s plenty of room in the Uighur Peace and Happiness Holiday Camps ‘in case anyone needs us to re-educate the shit out of you’.

The speech was extensively reported in Hong Kong media, largely because they’re not allowed to report anything else anymore.

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