Friday 2 July 2021 by Mark Molloy

Man forced to read the back of toilet duck bottle, after forgetting to take his phone to the toilet


man reading on toilet

A man has been forced to sit and read the back of a toilet duck bottle today, after completely forgetting to take his phone to the toilet when he went for his morning shit.

Simon Williams, who normally spends a good twenty minutes on the toilet, whilst catching up on Facebook and Twitter, realised his monumental error this morning after reaching for his phone in his pocket just after sitting down and realising he’s left it outside.

Speaking earlier he told us, “I couldn’t believe it. I had to have a shit, WITHOUT my phone.

“I always take my phone to the toilet to have a little read every time I go for a number two, just like every other normal human being.

“I’d normally catch up on my WhatsApp messages, then have a browse on Facebook and Twitter, and if I’ve got time have a quick look at the news.

“But today I just completely forgot, and was bored out of my tree, I had nothing to do at all, so I resorted to reading the toilet duck ingredients just to keep me occupied.

“Which was actually quite interesting. Did you know it contains perfume?”

Asked why he didn’t just finish up quickly to save himself from getting bored he told us, “What and just go back to work? Fuck that.”

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