Amazon launch new portable bathroom range for busy employees

Stung by criticism about staff having to relieve themselves into bottles as they don’t get enough time off to even visit a lavatory, Amazon has released a new own-brand range of portable bathroom utensils to help workers ‘on the job whilst on the job’.

Leading the range is a ‘shaped plastic urine receptacle’ for only £5.99, which designers described as a cylinder of clear plastic with a resealable cap which was ideal for the busy worker on the go and which critics have called ‘an empty water bottle’.

This will be followed by the ‘Stoolbox’, a square or rectangular box of brightly coloured plastic with a lid for £12.99 which designers said was perfect for catching and collecting solid waste and preventing unpleasant smells distracting the busy employee, but once again critics said was ‘just an empty lunchbox’.

“What’s worst is that they’re trying to sell me an ‘External open-air convenience with vibrant natural surrounding and a solid, aged-wood back’ for the fat end of a hundred quid,” said Amazon delivery driver Simon Williams.

“It’s a tree. They’re trying to sell me the opportunity to stop my van and piss behind a tree, which is what I already do.”

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