Friday 26 March 2021 by Davywavy

Alex Salmond launches new party with a pledge to reach out and touch the people of Scotland

Alex Salmond independence party

Alex Salmond has launched a new political party with the promise that it will get on top of the Scottish people as quickly as possible.

The new party – called Alba – is aimed at people who are tired of the same old, same old at home and fancy a bit on the side, politically speaking.

In a statement, Salmond said that his policies would be penetrating and that he would press the flesh relentlessly in pursuit of the best outcome.

“I promise you this”, Salmond told reporters. “I will not go soft and I will explore every nook and cranny of opportunity.

“In the short term, I aim to get to grips with as many voters as I can and give them the full length of a parliamentary term.

“We will seize every chance with both hands, and grapple night and day with outstanding issues until they are utterly spent,” he promised.

Salmond certainly seemed keen to get out knocking on doors for his new party, and said he wouldn’t rest until he had banged on every entrance in Scotland.

Political observers said that the move might split the Independence vote and leave the electorate uncertain about a three-way with the SNP, the greens and Alba.

“They might feel more comfortable with a single, massive Johnson,” we were told.

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