Reform supporters suddenly happy with ‘two tier policing’ after party member merely cautioned for assaulting woman

Reform supporters are today rejoicing in celebration over the ‘two-tier’ policing that was, until recently, the subject of their ire.

This sudden U-turn comes after the news that a party member who violently assaulted a woman protester at Birmingham’s Reform Conference got off lightly with a caution.

Despite the attack being on film and circulating on social media, West Midlands Police have confirmed that “following the footage, a man came forward for interview and reassured us he only uses violence against women who he thinks should not express opinions he doesn’t like.

“Therefore, we let him off with an obligatory caution and sent him on his way to protect our women and children.”

Our reporters also spoke to long standing Reform supporter, Derek Williams from Runcorn. According to Mr Williams, “It’s a lovely day, isn’t it! It’s really nice to come home from a day of screeching at hotels to learn that the police let one of us off for a good old bit of traditional woman bashing.

“I mean, let’s be honest. Who does she think she is? Having opinions of her own and expressing them verbally in public? I’m all for free speech, but not from someone who wants a fair society that looks after vulnerable people and doesn’t mind people who look different to me!

“ESPECIALLY IF IT’S A WOMAN!”

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