Oops! Stonehenge only 34 years old
by Neil Tollfree 2 months ago Archeologists and geologists have been left red-faced after it was revealed that Stonehenge was only 34 years old, not the 5,000 years old it was previously believed to be.
“Stonehenge was built in 1991,” explained English Heritage historian Dr Stephen Emmerson.
“It had always been assumed that Stonehenge was 5,000 years old because, well, it looks pretty old, doesn’t it? I mean, all the stone’s a bit worn down and everything. And, who would build something like that in the nineties? People were building Laser Quests and nightclubs in the nineties. Not stone circles.”
However, that assumption was turned on it’s head when a volunteer who worked at the site noticed some writing on one of the stones.
“Yes. That was one of our Saturday girls. She’s been fired now. She noticed this writing. It was pretty faded, but you could still make it out – ‘Hard Rock Stonemasons.’”
‘Hard Rock Stonemasons’ was a company in Southampton in the late 1980s and 1990s. Retired mason Paul Christopher worked there.
“Oh yes, we prepared the stones for Stonehenge,” he confirmed
“I remember. Local couple. Can’t think of their names now, but it’ll be in the books. They wanted a henge, so we put one together for them. Big job, took about six months. Turned out fine though. Really nice henge, and it’s lasted well enough.”
He laughs at the worldwide fame it’s received as a site of historical significance.
“No. God, I’d have said something if I knew, but I had no idea. I only really watch ITV on the television so I don’t know much about culture and history and whatnot. I didn’t have a clue that people thought that our henge was 5,000 years old.
“Why would anyone think that anyway? How would they have been able to move all those stones about 5,000 years ago? It took us six months and we had lorries and fork-lift trucks. Daft idea.”
In the wake of the new revelations, English Heritage have reduced the entrance fee to 50p per person and introduced a history of Madchester music and Men Behaving Badly to the Stonehenge visitors centre.
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