Donald Trump signs Executive Order to reword Pledge of Allegiance to ‘liberty and justice for some’
2 months ago
Donald Trump has signed an Executive Order officially changing the Pledge of Allegiance to promise “liberty and justice for some”, bringing the wording into line with current US government policy.
The President announced the change as part of his ongoing programme of improving America by renaming things with a pen, explaining that the previous wording had been allowed to remain inaccurate for far too long.
“‘All’ is a very specific word,” explained White House spokesperson Chuck Williams. “And frankly, it was creating unrealistic expectations.
“If you tell children every morning that America provides liberty and justice for all, some of them are inevitably going to grow up expecting liberty and justice regardless of their income, political affiliation, skin colour or ability to afford a decent lawyer.
“That was never the intention.”
Under the Executive Order, millions of schoolchildren will now be required to pledge allegiance to “one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for some”, with teachers encouraged to gesture vaguely towards whichever children are currently eligible.
Trump said the change was necessary because the previous pledge was another example of the federal government making promises it couldn’t possibly keep.
He told reporters, “We love liberty. We have the best liberty. Nobody has more liberty than us. But giving it to everybody? That’s communism.”
The White House has dismissed criticism that a President cannot simply rewrite the Pledge of Allegiance by Executive Order, explaining that this sort of objection is precisely why the new wording only promises justice to some people.
Constitutional lawyers are reportedly examining whether Trump actually has the authority to change the pledge, while administration officials have reassured them that he can always sign another Executive Order saying that he does.
One American who had recently re-read the pledge welcomed the increased honesty.
“If they’d said ‘liberty and justice for some’ when I was a kid, I’d have had far fewer expectations,” he explained.
“I’d also have pledged allegiance much more cautiously. Which would have been the correct decision.”
The administration is understood to be considering a further amendment adding the words “subject to availability, income, political affiliation and presidential approval”.
Trump described the new pledge as “much more accurate”, before signing another Executive Order changing the national motto from “In God We Trust” to “Whatever Trump Says Goes”.
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