Donald Trump awarded Paedophile of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire (PBE)

King Charles III has awarded US president Donald Trump the title of Paedophile of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, it has been confirmed. 

In a ceremony at US Congress, Donald Trump kneeled in front of King Charles III, before being told to stand up, as he was just getting a medal, officially anointing him as a PBE.

“It’s a much higher honour than any FIFA Peace Prize,” said King Charles, pinning the medal on President Trump.

“The title of Paedophile of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, or PBE for short, is an incredibly sought after award. In fact, only knighthoods and damehoods are more prestigious in the honours system. He should be really proud of it.

“Funnily enough, the PBE is the only title we didn’t strip from Andrew.

“To be fair, he was pretty good in that field, so there was no need to strip him of that particular title. If the rumours are true, President Trump will be a fine addition to the list of PBEs. He definitely deserves it from what I’ve heard. 

“I’m just so thrilled to be able to use this state visit for something good. It was remarkable to be able to honour the tremendous work of paedophiles in front of Congress. I’m sure this is exactly what they had in mind when they built the Capitol Building all those years ago.”

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