Pope notified about new Trump insults by orange smoke rising from the chimney

From now on Pope Leo will be notified about any new insults from Donald Trump by looking up to see orange smoke coming from the Sistine Chapel chimney.

Pope Leo and Donald Trump have been feuding for the last week after the US President attacked the pontiff on Truth Social, with the Pope’s new communication method making it much easier for him to keep up.

“It’s a great system,” said Pope Leo, looking up at the orange smoke.

“If I see the orange smoke it means Trump is slagging me off again. The signal allows me to stop whatever I’m doing and concentrate purely on my retaliation. Clearly the leader of the Catholic Church has nothing better to do.

“Yes, that was sarcasm.

“Honestly, this whole thing is getting a bit out of hand. All I did was say I didn’t like war. Is that a mental thing to say? I think it’s a pretty normal position to not want innocent people dying. Am I nuts here? People still hate war, right?

“I heard JD Vance had a little pop at me as well. If anything that’s probably boosted my popularity by a significant amount. As the old saying goes, ‘You’ve got a chance if your enemy is Vance.’

“He really is a Godsend.”